Delhi, Rape and Social Media

Dear Social Media bandwagon folk,

I note that you are showing your disgust at the gang rape recently. It is a heinous and disgusting crime and the culprits should be arrested and tried under the Courts in Delhi.

I have a question… how does your status updates on Facebook and Tweets/Retweets help bring justice and bring a change to the epidemic that seems to have hit this city.

Are you:

a. petitioning the State government to change the laws if required and to speed the process for dealing with rapists.

b. insisting that rape kits are available in all hospitals and clincs throughout the state and country. 

c. raising the need for all police forces to be trained and educated to deal with rape cases and educating them that no man should ever rape a woman ever. No matter how she dresses.

d. demanding the education of the public and especially men from a young age that rape is not acceptable and will not be condoned at any time.

e. telling the government to fund schools to have compulsory self defence classes for all female students

What are you doing exactly other than status update? There seems to be a lot of hot air blowing around and no proper action to resolve this issue. 

The same applies for any other country which seems to be acting ridiculously with regards to rape matters.

If there is a way to petition and/or try and do something to solve this matter please let me know.

Kind regards

Shelo9

The Book

A funny thing happened today … I bought a book. A paper book.

 

Photo

It’s been a while since I have bought a proper book. Like a lot of people I now buy e-books; due to convenience and pricing. This book caught my eye as I walked to the hidden lift that’s in this bookshop in dubai mall. I’m a big fan of the sartorialist and have often tweeted pictures from the site that I have adored. I knew the book was out but was not on my must have list but seeing this front cover (there are different covers for this edition of the book), it engaged me.

On picking up the book I saw the penguin symbol and my heart melted. Penguin books and I have had a long love affair from when I was a child. Their books seem to calm me, engage me and feel so nice to the hand.

The book has limited words but the pictures are sublime. I am reminded once again of the endless possibilities of people and style by seeing these pictures. In a city that is predominately one dimensional, I need a reminder every so often to show myself to not be like the others. My styling is typically classic but with random hints of craziness to remove me from being monotone.

The book is now read and resting on my coffee table but I predict it will be dog-eared in a few months time.

The beauty of a paper book…

Apartment move the social media way

Move day is upon us. The packers are packing whilst I watch. In my defence I packed a lot of stuff for the last few weeks or put into easy piles for them to pack so now I can rest until I get to unpack it all in new place.

As I have mentioned before the move from one place to another in Dubai is a new experience for me and has been (touch wood) not to painful.

The painlessness has been due to the use of social media, apps and my many mac products to assist from analysing new location to noting content of boxes. This is something I can’t was the norm a few ago.

On deciding to move I went to twitter to get ideas of locations and views. I didn’t look at the property classifieds in the newspaper as a first point of call. Whilst tweeting I reviewed the choices on dubbizle.com and got real time advice whilst trawling the net.

On querying it was decided the best options were Jumeirah village or motor city. Once I had seen a few locations in both places I then got further feedback on twitter and Facebook on the best place to move. The deciding factor for me was that close tweeps lived in motor city or nearby in Arabian ranches. Also motor city has grown into a pretty community with nearby amenities and of course the thought of living near a race track made my heart flutter.

Once decided and I had found the ideal apartment for me (1 bed on 1st floor so if kitties jump off balcony they won’t die just lose one of their nine lives – maybe) I had to locate packers.

Instead of scouring and meeting different movers I asked on twitter and tweep @toffeeprincess who had recently moved and done the comparison recommended Mexico Movers. For me any suggestion by her was going to be good for me so I called Rafi and got him to see my place within a day. Reasonably priced and efficient I had no doubts and was sorted. They are doing a marvellous job whilst I write.

The list of boxes has been added to Evernote which I can sync onto my iPhone later. I used a measuring app to measure the co-ordinates of the new apartment. Dubbizle.com has been used to try and sell my stuff.

I have updated my parents and friends on the move escapades and especially the moods of my two kitties via path. Ideas for new stuff for apartment has been thanks to pinterest and the fancy (both my new app fetishes).

The remarkable thing is that this all wasn’t possible 5 years ago. With the use of technology and a new way to communicate the decision to move to move day has been possible in a few short weeks with limited aggravation.

Admittedly we are lucky in Dubai that we can get cheap packers and movers to help with the move. But I also had the agent register me for DEWA and Emicool which is not normal.

If you live in Dubai the chances of losing your cool due to something so stressful as moving is highly likely but this hasn’t been the case for me and I think it’s due to use of social media and technology (as well as some good karma for once).

If you want details on Mexico movers and other information please let me know.

Change is coming

The time has come after 5 years to leave the place i have called home for a new place in the sandy land.

Most people would say its nothing new. People move all the time especially in this town but for me it’s a new concept. The last time I moved in Dubai was to move back to England. Then I moved back. Long story.

I have been my normal anal self and cleared the junk and prepared for the movers to pack and take my stuff to the new place. The decision to move to finding the place has been fast and the date of moving is coming closer.

I wonder if it’s a mistake but I know I need to change my life otherwise I will be stuck in a rut. Also my two cats and I have lost love with the garden we adore due to two huge loveable dogs that are too huge for us to appreciate.

One of my babies has been a traumatic mess for months and now it’s got to the point where she doesn’t come home except to eat every few days. I feel like a terrible mother not able to look after her and protect her. I’m hoping the calm food I have bought today will help her.

The other is hiding back in her favourite kitty hiding place – the laundry basket. She may be easier to move as I’ll just carry the basket to the new place.

I’m putting all my emotional baggage onto the kitty problems and hiding from the fact that I’m scared shitless. I didn’t feel like this when I moved countries so i have no idea why i’m being like this to move across town. Maybe as you get older, the harder it is to move out of your comfort zone. Or maybe I’m just being an emotional retard right now.

Whatever the issue I’m hoping it will get emotionally easier. And that my kitties go back to being “normal”.

Some changes…

It’s been a month into this year and it already feels like half the year has gone. In recap…

 

1. I spent quality time at home with friends and family.

2. Spent a bit too much in Selfridges

3. Didn’t change jobs but hoping it happens this week (cos I need to be back with my old boss).

4. Went out with a guy for three weeks

5. Dealt with stressed cats and an influx of horrible dogs in my zoo of a village

6. Decided that I would go to the West Coast for my next holiday (tips would be nice thanks).

7. Quit smoking, shagging and anything else that is naughty.

 

Reading the list, it aint exciting but it feels like it lasted for longer than a month (especially the dating bit). I have decided not to discuss said 3 week relationship in blog although it is great blog fodder. But if you follow me normally, you may be suprised to know that for once i went out with a nice bloke instead of an arsehole. And i became the arsehole. Not good.

Anyway moving on… i have had thoughts about moving house to change my life a bit. I do love where i live and all that but I saw a beautiful duplex apartment the other day and it got me thinking. The only problem was the location of the amazing duplex apartment. If there was a similar one in Jumeirah/Marina i would jump on it. But for now i am here with my new vintage looking cupboard and state of the art cat flap to get me smiling (it’s the little things).

The main change of course is the quitting smoking. It was easier to quit this time and with less side effects. It kinda of helped that i put on the wrong patch and had 20mg on my arm rather than 15mg or 10mg which is what i should have been on. I might have the odd puff at night but i hate doing it so for all intents and purposes I have quit. The other naughty things which i have quit on are not intentional and I would be very happy to start them up again sooner. Very soon.

I was going to write a blog about television but that would have been more torturous than this update blog. But then again  I do watch a lot of tv, I am sure I could educate a lot of you on the merits of The Office USA, Modern Family, The Daily show and how I am going to start on the Killing….

NYE 2012

This year has been better than the last few years.

The main thing was I cleared my debt although the shits who stole my money didn’t repay me. (yep still bitter and still waiting to seek revenge). Also finally got acknowledged for my hard work at company and now being paid as a solicitor should. Then they demoted me. But im less fussed by that as I get more time for a life again.

Bad news was my lack of a stable loving relationship again this year. I had a relationship of sort but it was negative, hurtful and depressing. Luckily out of that and got my mojo back.

Good news was that after the above, I found I’m still fanciable and had good times which was an ego boost.

So for 2012

Changing jobs within company to do compliance more than legal. Means I get to be bossy and travel the world being bossy. With job I get to help company grow into something stable and exciting. Also get to keep doing intellectual property which I love.

Bought my dream bags this year and nespresso machine so 2012 will be about travelling and saving for my own property. It’s time now that I am debt free to start investing in my future.

With regards to relationships, I have asked for family to stop looking for a Muslim bloke for me to marry. The men I get introduced to are ignorant arrogant and freaked out by independent strength. I can’t take anymore rejection from these inferior backward twats. I want to look myself and hope that I’ll meet someone on the same wavelength as me. I dont want much – love, respect and not much arguing with a huge dollop of travelling and exploring together. I want to be happy. Not much to ask for really.

Dubai has been my home for 6 years now and I don’t see that changing for now. I can’t come home to the uk as the market is so dead for lawyers and it’s just not the right time to move. For now I’m going to see more of the middle east like Beirut and make most of my “home”.

I would say I would stop smoking but I can’t guarantee that. But I need to be less curvy and more healthy again which is a mission as soon as back in Dubai.

So no resolutions but hope for changing and growing up in 2012. Inshallah all will be fine.

Happy new year to all of you and thanks for reading my blogs this year. Appreciate the support.

Xxxx shel

Chavs and British people.

I mentioned today in a tweet that a certain hotel on Beach Road was full of chavs whilst i was there. Why did I say that? Well as i was strolling around the hotel, a lot of the people were dressed like chavs, talking like chavs or actling like chavs. The main one was this obsese woman in tight short clothes talking to the valet guys about wanting to go watch the england game in a really nasal southern england accent.

Now if my mates from Medway, especially Chatham read that, they would know where I was coming from. But one woman on twitter decided to start ranting – how did i know they were english, how dare i say that about the english, etc. She also stated that “I wouldn’t say the same about my own people. She was then advised that i was British by some other tweeters, so before i could respond I was ignorant, unpatriotic and pathetic. (I was also an evil bitch, but I digress).

My argument was I was observing like I normally do. People make comments on FB and Twitter or generally in public and thats all it is. You can either read it and laugh or ignore but to start being abusive is just ridiculous.

Supposedly I’m a chav hating person. Not really love, I just come from the great town of Chatham where the chav culture really started. (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Chatham).The culture started in the late 80s and it’s something we have seen down Chatham High Street and Chatham Railway station grow to be part of global culture. Even WIkipedia refers to Chatham and chav! (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chav)

My family and friends all went to school in Rochester (the posh town (used to be a city!) next door). We were snobs, I put my hands up. We were going to “proper schools”, not wearing white trainers and were being bloody wimps! Those chavs were bloody scary in their kappa gear with baby sham in their hands. They still are.

You see the “chavs” now and the way people behave and they are nothing compared to the originals in Chatham. They have evolved. The cars are beemers rather than Ford Escorts. They can afford the proper designer Burberry stuff and they have role models on tv. I believe some people are not trying to be chavs but just talk with that nasal accent (you know what i mean) and dress in clothes which are too tight/short/shite. Those type of people we now refer to chavs or chavvy.

It might be derogatory to some, but at the end of the day I write what I see and hear. Obviously people don’t like it but then you can’t please everyone.

The problem with being British is that we are now living in a minefield of political correctness. Say one word wrong and someone has to start ranting at you.

The other major issue are the minority British expats who a need to go on about being British and pointing out to others when they are not up to their British standards. I wonder who decides who is more British. Are they more British if they only eat British food, watch British tv and not integrate with the local society?

I’m British – born and bred. I talk like a British person (ok a southern fairy) and swear like one. I grew up on the BBC and know my cheddars from Stilton (yuck!). I may have a beautiful tan but does that make me less British??  I’m guessing that because I am open to exploring other cultures and mixing with different nationalities that I am less “British” than others.

At the end of the day we have to accept that the line of correctness is blurred and that if you don’t like what certain people do or say you should just hang out with people of your own classiness. On that note I’m off to unfollow those unclassy people…

 

An inspiring piece of writing…for once

There is a muppet girl in our office who makes us suffer with motivating emails every day which she steals from some quote-website. For a while the messages were called “Morning Glory” but she finally stopped that stupity when i told her to check what morning glory meant to men.

Today after the “motivator” email of inspidness, she sent this address from Steve Jobs.

I’m not normally a fan of englighting talks and addresses but this is actually a good one. If you havent read it through the newspapers, social media or heard on the news then here is the text for your enjoyment.

“You’ve got to find what you love,” Jobs says

 This is a prepared text of the Commencement address delivered by Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios, on June 12, 2005.

I am honoured to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world.  I never graduated from college.  Truth be told, this is the closest I’ve ever gotten to a college graduation.  Today I want to tell you three stories from my life.  That’s it.  No big deal.  Just three stories.

 The first story is about connecting the dots.

I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit.  So why did I drop out?

It started before I was born.  My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption.  She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife.  Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl.  So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: “We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?”  They said: “Of course.”  My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school.  She refused to sign the final adoption papers.  She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.

And 17 years later I did go to college.  But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents’ savings were being spent on my college tuition.  After six months, I couldn’t see the value in it.  I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out.  And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life.  So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK.  It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made.  The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn’t interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.

 It wasn’t all romantic.  I didn’t have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends’ rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple.  I loved it.  And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on.  Let me give you one example:

 Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country.  Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed.  Because I had dropped out and didn’t have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this.  I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great.  It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can’t capture, and I found it fascinating.

None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life.  But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me.  And we designed it all into the Mac.  It was the first computer with beautiful typography.  If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts.  And since Windows just copied the Mac, it’s likely that no personal computer would have them.  If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do.  Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college.  But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.

Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards.  So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future.  You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever.  This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

 My second story is about love and loss.

I was lucky — I found what I loved to do early in life.  Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20.  We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4,000 employees.  We had just released our finest creation — the Macintosh — a year earlier, and I had just turned 30.  And then I got fired.  How can you get fired from a company you started?  Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well.  But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out.  When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him.  So at 30 I was out.  And very publicly out.  What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.

I really didn’t know what to do for a few months.  I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me.  I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly.  I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley.  But something slowly began to dawn on me — I still loved what I did.  The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit.  I had been rejected, but I was still in love.  And so I decided to start over.

I didn’t see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me.  The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything.  It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.

During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife.  Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world.  In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I returned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple’s current renaissance.  And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.

I’m pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn’t been fired from Apple.  It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it.  Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick.  Don’t lose faith.  I’m convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did.  You’ve got to find what you love.  And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers.  Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work.  And the only way to do great work is to love what you do.  If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking.  Don’t settle.  As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it.  And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on.  So keep looking until you find it.  Don’t settle.

 My third story is about death.

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: “If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you’ll most certainly be right.”  It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?”  And whenever the answer has been “No” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life.  Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure — these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important.  Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose.  You are already naked.  There is no reason not to follow your heart.

About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer.  I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas.  I didn’t even know what a pancreas was.  The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months.  My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor’s code for prepare to die.  It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you’d have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months.  It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family.  It means to say your goodbyes.

I lived with that diagnosis all day.  Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor.  I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery.  I had the surgery and I’m fine now.

 This was the closest I’ve been to facing death, and I hope it’s the closest I get for a few more decades.  Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:

No one wants to die.  Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there.  And yet death is the destination we all share.  No one has ever escaped it.  And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life.  It is Life’s change agent.  It clears out the old to make way for the new.  Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away.  Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.  Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking.  Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice.  And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.  They somehow already know what you truly want to become.  Everything else is secondary.

When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation.  It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch.  This was in the late 1960’s, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras.  It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.

Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue.  It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age.  On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous.  Beneath it were the words:  “Stay Hungry.  Stay Foolish.” I t was their farewell message as they signed off.  Stay Hungry.  Stay Foolish.  And I have always wished that for myself.  And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.

 Stay Hungry.  Stay Foolish.

 Thank you all very much.

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