Tonight I decided to pause the TV and ignore the laptops for a few minutes to read the latest Conde Nast Traveller which has been perching near me whenever I am at home hoping to be read. I have read half way through and already have daydreamed of hotels, destinations and restaurants to go to.

In summary so far – El Bulli is closing but the brothers extradionnaire are opening a new bar/restaurant in Barcelona which sounds amazing. I have never been to Barcelona and this gastronomic newcomer sounds like the ideal reason to go. Then there was an article about Finland. It sounds dark and foreboding but the Scandinavian countries appeal to me (you would fully know about this love affair with the “scandy countries” if you follow me on twitter :)).

The world is huge and although i have been to all the continents except South America there is so many places I still have to go. After my recent proper holiday after 2 years to Malaysia and Singapore the travel bug has returned with a vengeance. I want to travel, stay in lovely hotels and see the sights of the world in all its glory.

In the last five years of living in the MIddle East I have only travelled around the UAE and Syria (Damascus). It’s not only tragic but completely and utterly ridiculous behaviour by me! I have now decided that I will use all those holidays that weren’t used last year and got transferred to this year to be used for weekend sojourns to countries which are within four hours away from Dubai. This means I could stay at the newly restored palace in Hyderabad, meet my fellow twerps in Beirut, go skiing in Iran and see my nan in Kenya (and stop off in Mombasa). Now all I have to do is have a plan and see if anyone will join me on my trips.

Any volunteers, ideas on first destination, etc will be warmly welcome.

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It has been a joke for other people and especially since I joined the (Indian) company that I work for, that my immediate family and I had never been to India. My mother was born in India but moved to Uganda at the age of four and my father was born in Kenya. I was born and raised in England. We have distant family in India but the majority live in East Africa or the UK.  Our annual “family” holidays involved us going to Kenya for four weeks whereas other friends from our community would go to India or Pakistan. My parents finally stepped onto Indian soil last Christmas and went around the Golden Triangle. They loved it and told me that it was time for me to go there especially since living in Dubai.

Going to India never seemed to be a problem before, but since living in Dubai, which has a huge Indian population, I have been subjected to the following conversations on a near daily basis:

“Where are you from?”

“England”

“No no you’re not from England. Where is your Daddy from?”

“Kenya”

“Is he black?”

“No”

“You’re lying your Indian!”

“Yeah grandparents are Indian”

“See I told you! Why did you lie to me? So you been to India?”

“No”

“Vat are you saying!?!?!”

Trust me this conversation has come up so often that I can say it in my sleep. No joke.

Last year I got a coveted six month visa to go to India for work, but actually never used it. Then last week my passport was snatched out of my hands and thrown into the Indian Ambassador’s hands to authorise for my Indian visa to be renewed to enable me to fly out early this week. With less than 5 minutes to go until I had to leave the office to get to the airport, my passport was returned with a shiny new silver one year visa. Woop woop.

And then it began… I went back to my roots – well sort of – I flew to Mumbai.

Mumbai – where do I start?

It’s the business capital of the country and it is known to be incredibly cosmopolitan. It is the capital of Bollywood and where Queen Victoria landed to claim the titles of Empress of India. It is also where those bastard men went to kill a hell of a lot of people two years ago. My trip was not that exciting; I was going there for work.

I have thought about what I would write about Mumbai on my blog for days.  The pictures show what I saw and where I went.  I drove around a hell of a lot of Mumbai, but by the end of the trip I still had no clue on the areas and roads after two days of nearly continuous driving. Also, I am a hardcore lover of driving but this town and their driving scared the bejesus of me. My boss has not snickered that much at my swearing since …well it’s been a while.

I hung out, if you can call it that, with the big boss of my company so was lucky to see the mega rich landmarks of the city.  The posh places were as follows:

1.       Taj Hotel – One night we went to the Taj Hotel (the one were a lot of people were killed by those bastard gunmen) and ate at Wasabi. Wasabi is the only restaurant in India listed in the top 100 restaurants of the world (the one which has El Bulli now at number 2). The restaurant as you can tell by the name is Japanese. I am still in shock that there are no Indian Indian restaurants included in that top 100 list but who am I know. I just love food; I don’t claim to be a foodie. Anyway Wasabi was what you expected from a very posh, very expensive Japanese restaurant. The tuna belly sashimi melted in my mouth, the Kobe beef was blissful and the wasabi crème brulee was weirdness. The crab sushi and other kinds of sushi is what I have normally at our fave Japanese restaurant in Dubai so nothing special for my palate. I know I’m spoilt!

2.       Wellingdon Private Club – the picture of the table does not show enough of this place and it is so hard to describe it. It was like stepping back into the Empire. There were geriatrics sitting in a saloon playing cards, we sat outside and the men drank Kingfisher and rang the bell to order divine pieces of chicken tikka. The prices for food is incredibly cheap but the club has a five year waiting list to get in. This is the place to know the right people and meet the right people. It was surreal and hilarious. Even the stray cat which came to me was posh.

3.       Four Seasons Hotel – this place was a meeting point for most of the second day and night in Mumbai. It is as you would expect from a Four Seasons hotel, however their security at the door is very lax to women. They didn’t scan me with the metal scanner thing but scanned the men (about 20 of them).  Seriously do they not think that women will do dodgy arse stuff in hotels?!? We ate at a restaurant that had a menu consisting of Japanese, Thai, Chinese and Indian food. I went for the Indian.  The chicken curry was good but not out of this world but the tandoori naan was lovely. This is the kind of food I wanted to sample in India. We also had a drink at Aer club which is the hip and happening venue for young Mumbai. The view from the bar which is set in the rooftop of the hotel is spectacular. You can see 360 degrees Mumbai. But you also realise that just on the side of the hotel is one of the many slums of the city. Not great.

I could say my hotel was posh but it weren’t posh western style. It was four/five star and the service was good, but it was the weirdest looking hotel ever. The outside looked like the tennis stadium in Dubai, grey, forbidding and unfriendly.  Inside, we were on the fifth floor. Our rooms were a bloody mile in a circle away from the lifts so every day with our computer bags was a fitness workout.  There was nothing wrong with the hotel it just didn’t feel right but it was suitable for a business trip.

The opposite of going to the posh venues listed above involved us going to Thane to our factory. Driving there we saw the crazy arse traffic, people and slums. You will see one of the pictures which as a sign for “Sion”.  That is one of the train stations. Not even one of the dodgy stations in South London look that shite. We also saw Shah Rukh Khans house and Salman Khan’s apartment. What shocked us what the building facades even in the expensive areas (including Salman’s building) looked run down and almost slum like. These people will pay millions of dollars for their apartment but no one bothers to paint and upkeep the outside. It was disgusting.

We also saw the people sleeping on the streets at night. It was depressing and upsetting to see especially when we were in our nice hotel car going to the airport. The poverty is visible all the time and it is not nice. My boss (Saffa) and I (east African) both mentioned at various times that we had never seen such poverty so visible in our African countries even in the poorest areas.

The best bit and real Indian treat for me other than going to the Gateway of India (smelt of urine), was having mithu pan. Pan is a big leaf filled with coconut, some sauces, sweet syrup and sopari (wooden chewing gum – I hate it, my mum loves it). The leaf choice was either from Calcutta or the River Ganges. I went for the Calcutta one as I ain’t touching anything from the Ganges. I saw that series on the Ganges on the BBC once and all I can say is ewwww. Our lovely tour guide, aka CFO for our India business, took us to a pan stand near SRK’s house. We had slum visitors come and stand near us curious at a big Saffa and obviously not Indian bird eating pan on the street with them. I loved it, my boss hated it and whinged for a few days about how I made him have something so yuck.

The short trip to India was an eye opener and I’m glad that I have now finally visited my “motherland” but as I joked for a few days afterwards, I can understand why my grandparents left the country. My family is from Porbinder and not Mumbai so it might be vastly different from Mumbai. I hear other parts of India are stunning and I now want to go there to see them. If you want me to say go to Mumbai, I can’t do it. The airport sucks and the town ain’t that exciting, but if it’s a gateway to other parts of India, sure go ahead, but remember the driving is bloody scary.

In the five years that I have lived in Dubai, I have never spent a night or two in one of the swanky hotels in town.  There are more 5* hotels in this town than there are red buses in London and yet I have always had a reason not enjoy the perks of these institutions. This run of bad luck finally came to an end the other week when I went to Bab Al Shams.

Bab al Shams is theoretically not in Dubai, but with the growth of Dubailand (finally!), al Shams is literally on your doorstep now.  20 minutes drive away from Jumeirah (who coincidentally own the Shams), past some “watch the camel and horses” signs and you are in the desert haven of the resort.

With no sea and only miles of desert around you might wonder why the hell you would spend a weekend away in this 5* star hotel when you live by the sea. The reasoning is that it was cheap (Ramadan offers gotta love them) and it was away from the main part of Dubai. I live 5 minutes from the sea, I can smell the sea especially when the tide is out (so not nice), and so the sea is not a novelty for me. The desert is much more of a novelty for us now, as all we usually see are high rises and crazy arse drivers.

Once you have entered and valeted your car at the Shams you check in (you only need your UAE licence if you are a resident here), show your Sirius card (us Dubians love our points cards) and given a cold towel to cool yourself down.  Then a lovely lady called Nadia in authentic Bedouin stylee outfit took us to our adjoining rooms. The pictures do not do justice for the rooms. They were beautifully set out with Arabic style decor.  The design of the rooms was how I wish I could decorate my place. Nadia showed us around the room and gave me the internet cable to assist me with doing work whilst staying at the resort (yep violins please start playing). We techno-geeks in the group did complain about the lack of wireless service in the resort especially in the room. Nadia then left us to admire the room and outside where we had a small outdoors area to sit in the evening when it was cooler.

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We had problems with our espresso machine in our room not working, but as soon as we told the operator someone was at our door within 10 minutes to check it out and within two minutes after that we had a new machine. 2 hours later we were also provided a fruit basket with lovely dates in them. 

We were slightly disappointed that we had not been able to make bookings to use the spa (using our Entertainer vouchers) as the Spa was fully booked that weekend, but after talking to the concierge and especially a lady called Crystal they took our details and promised to call us as soon as there were any cancellations. Later on in the day, three out of the four of us were able to make booking s for the next day to get a massage. We were impressed, but slight peeved that we had been told the week before when making the hotel booking that we wouldn’t need to book for the spa. Hmmmm. Anyway problem sorted. 

Next onto the pool area which is the main reason to come to the resort. To say it is huge is an understatement. There are four pools, kiddy, length, shallow pool and the main pool. Within the main pool is a roman style square atrium style Jacuzzi section which is fab if you want to get jacuzzied and read a book. Around the pool area there were so many sun loungers that you won’t need to fight with any Germans for some space (and there weren’t many of them around, few Italians though). As soon as you get to the pool area, the manager comes to greet you, asks you how many in your group, shows you an ideal location and then gets towels sent to your loungers. Before you have sat down the loungers are sorted and the umbrellas are out to shield you. Then it is time to relax. It was great. We had fresh fruit brought to us every so often, cold towels, and we could order the newspaper to read and also drinks all the time. The service was non-intrusive. We were able to do what we wanted in peace and quiet. I haven’t read a book quietly for so long. It was lovely. 

You can’t stay in a resort and not eat. For lunch on both days we went to Al Forsan which is a buffet restaurant near the pool. We decided to forego the buffet and use our entertainer vouchers to order our lunch (Its buy one get one free!). The food was delicious (so good that we had practically the same the next day).  The manager was a kindly Indian guy who spoilt us rotten and was lovely to chat to.  

Our dinner was not as amazing. It was Ramadan so there was Ramadan buffet food at Al Hadeerah. This restaurant is supposed to have the best Emirati food, but by the time we got there at 7.30 (an hour and half after iftar) the good stuff had run out and the food was mediocre in taste. I don’t know if it was because they had finished their run of cooking or due to cooking so much for so many people, but it was not great food especially for a Jumeirah place. We were so disappointed that we got a discount on our bill when we were checking out. The show which is shown around 9ish, provides the brief story of Dubai (I think!) was cool with real horses and horsemen, donkeys (that rolled around in the sand), goats and other animals, providing the entertainment in the sand dunes on top of the restaurant.  We also had a Sufi man dancing around in circles which seems to be the national dance during the month of Ramadan (although I don’t remember this in Ramadan’s past in this town).

The next day we went horse riding. We thought the stables were within Bab al Shams but actually they are next door to the resort, part of Endurance city. We went out in the desert for 1 hour with lovely horses and a great Filipino guy who was patient with the newbie riders and me (I’m not a newbie but it had been a while). We saw a massive chameleon that ran and changed colour while going over the dunes and had to deal with my panting horse. But it was a great feeling although we were dying of thirst at the end. For 200AED it is expensive but for a one off trip it is worth the money. We also had the privilege of meeting the Emirati owner of the stables who showed us a new stunning stallion he was bringing to the stables. We learnt that the majority of horses including the ones we rode on are or were owned by His Highness Sheikh Mohammed so we felt kind of special and also thought they must be good if HH owns them!

The final part of our weekend break was enjoying the spa services. There seemed to be issues with the manager and her spa staff when I got there, but they were attentive with me and I had a great masseur who tried to get the big knots out of my shoulders. She did recommend I go see her again at the Talise spa at Al Qasr in Madinat Jumeirah and have a hot stone massage. I am taking her up on that recommendation very soon. The spa was the usual high standard you expect from a Dubai spa. It was clean, beautifully set out and you were treated well. I have to say I do make the most of the spas here so I can only really comment on a spa if the service is beyond amazing or not up to the normal Dubai standard (god I sound spoilt).

At the end of our stay we still had great service. Whilst waiting for our cars to come from valet we were provided water and asked to take a seat in one of the cool outdoor seats, to relax and wait for our cars. I didn’t want to go home but when its time its time.

I am now making it my mission to go to more of these hotels every other month to spend a weekend relaxing and winding down. It’s a great thing to do especially if you are unable to leave town due to work or whatever and it’s not that expensive.  As a resident I highly recommend that you get the Entertainer book and use it to the max. Between my spa book and our friends dining book, we were able to make a lot of additional savings on staying at the resort.  Also you don’t need a partner to go to these hotels and resorts. Go with friends in a group and you get to hang out, chat, chill and make the most of what we have offered here in this town and country. There are so many perks for us residents of UAE so we should make the most of it.

Now I have to think about where to go next. Any ideas?

 (Ps this is the site for Bab Al Shams http://www.jumeirah.com/en/Hotels-and-Resorts/Destinations/Dubai/Jumeirah-Bab…

Being in London has been like your eyes being reopened after they have been hibernating during winter or like it was for Neo after coming out of the Matrix.

There is the hustle & bustle of people everywhere. They are travelling, shopping, talking, laughing, moaning but its all with a sense of individualism. No one dresses exactly the same. No one talks the same. There is culture, embedded history in so many buildings you pass and a sense that you are part of something big.

Its not like in Dubai were you can hear the same conversations in a cafe (maids, affairs, stupid english people being arrested again) or the same outfits being worn in carrefour and Mall of Emirates (forever 21, H&M, Zara). But you do feel like something big is going to happen in Dubai all the time (and usually it gets built!). 

What does this mean for me. Does this mean I should be in London and not in Dubai. After 5 years in Dubai, its not easy to like one city more than the other. Both cities are a part of my life and both cities have pros and cons within them.

I miss both when I am away from them. I am missing dubai right now such as the sun, my friends, my darling cat and my house. But I’m currently spending quality time with my parents, old close friends and shopping in primarni!

However, I have to say that I am grateful that I will be getting out of this country which has now been taken over by the tories.
This country is like a rerun of the 80s (with smart phones) – cold, tory enduring, recession suffering and full of dodgy outfits. All these things are back again this year! Coincidence or bad luck?
Let’s hope this country that I was born in and love won’t go to hell but if it does let’s hope the music is fantastic.