Tag: happy

Working from Home

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Last week was my final week as a Solicitor. Did I feel good?

Yes!!

After 12 years  it felt brilliant to finally stop being an in-house lawyer and start running my own business – a decluttering service business (see decluttrme.com) It also feels good to say I am an entrepreneur, owner and even Managing Director (as it states on the trade licence and my business cards – slightly knobbish I know but hey it was offered to me). I am excited, scared and thinking as I type of how to get more clients.

I have faith that this is a great idea but it is a new concept in the UAE and it is a service that people have to get used to. Also you have the trepidation from potential clients to let you into their house and clutter. No one would want a stranger into your house to see the clutter and tell you that you need to change your space. There may be images of me coming in and just throwing everything away into a big bin bag, but the reality is different. Decluttr Me is about organizing your belongings into a neat easily accessible manner for future use. The bin bags will be used mainly for out of date food and torn underwear.

After years of helping corporations, I now have a chance to help people in a way that can change their lives even if it is in a small way. Also the items that are cleared away will be sold and their proceeds donated to worthwhile charities, or if they are not sellable items, provided to clothes banks for recyclable use.  I am still undecided on which main charities to assist. I would like to help a woman’s charity in the UAE and a charity in Kenya (where my family are originally from). I have been in touch with Dar Al Ber Woman Affairs Dept and hope to liaise with them for Decluttr Me and also to volunteer as well.  If you have contacts with worthwhile charities in both countries please let me know.

Starting this week as a full time business owner, I have been working in my apartment in my home office, which I formed over the last few weeks (see the picture with kitty included, the kitty does not want to leave my office…ever).

131002 Home office and oreo

I had been warned by friends, who are freelancers, of the perils of working alone and they weren’t wrong. The issues I have faced so far include:

–  Munching on chocolates, cookies (from Ben’s cookies – bloody tempting), salt n’ vinegar crisps;

– Making lots of cups of tea (not normal for me) and a big cooked lunch;

–  My two lovely cats sitting on my chair, desk, keyboard, blocking the screen and generally getting in the way;

–  No one to talk to except the cats

–  Distractions of new TV to watch – I had to start this home office the week of new TV coming out. The Ultimate Airport Dubai was very good by the way.

–  The balcony is a few feet away to have various breaks;

–  Pinterest, Twitter and Facebook easily distract me, but to be fair they are mainly accessed for Decluttr purposes (honest!).

Working at home you have to be strict with yourself. I am continuing to wake up at 7am every morning, however I will start dressing up as if I am going out to work, as wearing my slob clothes doesn’t inspire the work juices. I also have to stop the snack food and breaks.  My friend wisely advised that you need a break and not to work 7 days a week. I hope to follow that advise and also not work in the evening as well. I do need a distraction from myself every so often so my social media viewings will be allowed.

I also think that it is a good idea to get out even if it’s to a coffee shop to work for a bit. There are places I have read where freelancers and entrepreneurs hang out during the day. I have been to one or two places and the clientele have annoyed me with their superiority complexes. The corporate side of me is not a fan of bs chat and behavior so it will be hard for me to summon the willpower to go to these “hubs”. I should try them out as they might not be that bad now…

One or two places I will be trying include the Archive in Safe Park, which was expensive but had great coffee and atmosphere, Bastakiya (as it is my favourite place in Dubai) and the coffee shops in Motor City (as MC is near me). I will be giving my review of these places and business hubs so that other newbie freelancers and entrepreneurs have an idea of where to go when they want to work outside home.

For now, I have to take a break from working and watch TV.

Happiness

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What makes a person happy? Is a hug from a friend? A kiss goodbye from a lover? A thank you from a guy you let out on the road? Or that favourite song that bings up on your ipod at the right moment? It’s all relative. We each have something that will make us happy. However, how I feel inside and how people perceive me on a general basis is shockingly different even now at this age.

I had a friend ask me how my day was on twitter this week. I said I was happy, which I don’t say that often on twitter (I’m known more for ranting). At the same time I got asked that question, blokey who is away right now came online. I miss him a lot, but I was so happy to hear from him that the fact that he is not here didn’t matter. He is safe, he is well and we got to chat for a while. That thought kept me happy the rest of the day. If it had been me a while back, I would have been a miserable cow, missing him and mopping around but now I’m just happy I got a few moments to be with him (virtually).

I have been told that I seem scary, bitchy, even evil sometimes and generally not happy. I guess it’s due to the fact that I am vocal and swear like a trooper. I can’t help the swearing, it goes with my personality and vocalises how I feel at that time. An addition of “fuck” in my sentences makes it more complete. Friends who know me and are used to me know how I talk and can understand if a fuck is added in there must be a good reason (it’s not like I have turret’s syndrome). I can smile and laugh and joke, but yet there is this perception that I will switch very fast from amicable me to scary witch. The reality is not the same as the perception, but it’s hard to change people’s views.

I have been low a few times in my life, even very recently I had experiences in my life that could break a person, but somehow I survived and continued on with the help of my dear family, friends and cat. One recent experience, comes back into my head whenever I am unhappy or sad. I just remember where I was at that time in my life and how bloody awful it was and everything else that happens now is a drop in the ocean. Things that happen to me now, although it matters to a point, its non-consequential at the end of the day. But I’m no fool, daily life can get you down, which is why you need reminders every so often to pick you up.

At the end of the day, it’s how you feel that matters. I don’t want to get all Oprah-like, but if you are happy in yourself, and in your life then all will be fine. Of course there will always be things that make you unhappy, but remember the little things and all will be fine. And if worse comes to worse, I find spraying my favourite perfume (Sicily by Dolce e Gabanna – please bring it back!) can make me happy for the rest of the day.

Gotta go something has just come up to make me smile …

Sadness

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The last week and a bit has been a bag of emotional turmoil.

If you follow me on twitter you will know my aunt passed away last week. She was related to me from my mum and dad’s side (nothing dodgy like – our family ain’t like that), and she was a major part of both families in England. Her loss, though we knew it would come anytime soon, was still upsetting. This was especially due to the fact that as I was unable to join my family back in Birmingham to attend the funeral and be with them.

With my family it’s a mixed bag of emotions. We are fiery, bitchy, stubborn, moody gits and some have a tendency to be evil fuckers. But for all these curses (verbal and magical), slaps, and plain crapness, they are my blood and due to the sameness in us, they are brilliant to hang out with or “comedy” as we used to say. I do miss them especially the cousins in Brum, which makes it even sadder that I missed being with them at this time.

Last week, I also decided finally that one man was too much of a playa for me and a liability. Picture the scenario:

1. Two parties, same venue, two weekends, same lovely host.

2. First party – I miss due to being in London. He invites town ho no. 2.

3. Second party – I turn up, he suddenly turns up after me. Kind of a surprise.

4. Pictures show up of both parties. She’s in the first lot (nothing too snuggly in those photos I must say but she was fucking there), I’m in the second lot (with him next to me in most of them or arms around me).

Nothing overly wrong with this you might say. But do you remember when he said he didn’t know how to fit me in and kept on “forgetting” to take me on dates he had asked me out on?? Well I got pissed off in my womanly way that:

a. He was able to take her out on a date.

b. He was unable to fit me in (except when we were dancing seductively on the dance floor – we were good!).

c. He went to the same party (in a way) with two women and flaunted it for others to see.

And on top of that it means that’s she’s the other woman and that’s just horrible. It was enough I had to see her trying it on with him, in front of me when I was “seeing him” but this?? Ok yes i’m slightly irrational, but hey this irrationality made me realise that I didn’t want to be with a man like him. Let her have him. Two sluts equal …crap things. 

So due to the irrational but brilliant reason to get rid of the playa, I also realised that I cared a hell of a lot for other man (no 3 – if you have been reading my blogs before – keep up people). So you might ask what is the sad part..? Well just as we had semi-sorted ourselves together, he has had to pack his bags and leave me for a month for work. I have a feeling he won’t shag around, but due to his location I’m worried for him and it’s just a crap time to leave. So I’ve been emotional for the last few days but 27 more days to go till I see him again and then we can start the proper dating thing again, or see if we even want to be together.

Then there is work. I actually like my job. It’s interesting. I’m dealing with legal matters that I have never covered before and on a global scale which is fun, interesting and never boring, but what I am disliking is the men in my office. The start of the week had me in tears nearly due to a man in the office being abusive to me once again on email. It’s been going on for six months and yet he only gets a slap on his hand for his shitty behaviour. It’s depressing, frustrating and plain piss annoying. I have to just hold my breath for now and pray that karma will come and give a big kick in the arse to no man’s land. But it’s not just him. I work with a certain country of men and whilst I do have some wonderful friends from this country and I’m originally from there, these men do my head in on a daily basis. They are chauvinistic, arrogant, sexist, uneducated bastards and they smell of BO a lot of the time as well. They need to get a can of deodorant spray liberally, wash their clothes, buy some manners and learn how to live in the 21st century. But you know that won’t happen in the near future with the majority of these men. This realisation made me sad.

The other frustrating issue I also dealt with was on twitter. After the abusive emails from knob in the office, I ranted as I tend to do on twitter. Twitter is full of friends that I have made and share my life with on a daily basis, who are predominately living in the same town as  me. They know when I’m happy, sad, awake, alive, tired or hungry. They know more than my best friends (which can be scary) or they have become my best friends (mega!). So I ranted, and then slimy pervy man of twitter decided to put his 2 cents in and start being nasty to me. The breaking point was when he said I should go get therapy instead of twittering. This is not the first time he has said it to a woman on twitter. The irony is that he requires therapy more than most of us, due to his nature, but he’s in denial. However, all women in his books (and i’m sure other men) are nuts and need a shrink. Isn’t it a sad thought when a man thinks in this chauvinistic and sexist manner in this day and age. Yes, he’s an old man but should that be an excuse??

I know that life has its ups and downs and we all suffer, but somtimes when it all comes at the same time it can be truly horrifying to deal with. I’m lucky that I have good friends and family who have looked after me this week especially when I was very sad, giving me real and virtual hugs and love throughout. So through the sadness comes thankfulness and hope – and that makes me happy.