Today, I met my brother, his girlfriend and the giant bump. The giant bump, otherwise known as my future nephew/niece, should be a happy occasion. I am looking forward to being Auntie Shel but there is a huge part of me that is mixed with jealousy, pity and piss annoyance. My brother is sorted now, he has a brilliant career, house, girlfriend, future baby, car and money. I have a car, cat, stress-filled career and lots of clothes. The boyfriend situation well that’s another story and the house can’t happen due to the money situation.

I am one of those idiots that fell for a “friend’s” investor idea in the boom and have ended up paying really badly for it. The arsehole ran away from Dubai and left me with debts that will take me two years to clear (that’s a positive outlook). The fact that I should now be at the age where I should be financially stable is one of the worst parts of being in this situation, as well as my brother giving me a pitying/condescending look or conversation about my stupidity. I was always a saver and able to live the designer life and now thanks to this stupid moment I now struggle to live and have gone through moments that I do not wish on anyone (except maybe said arsehole).

I now spend my days dreaming of winning the lottery or getting a super extreme pay rise that will make it all disappear. Sometimes I even hope that the A-hole will actually pay me back all the money he took which he has promised to do for over a year. It’s a dream and I have been in reality for too long to believe the latter will occur.

On a plus I have learnt a huge lesson from this moment in my life and now know that I will only put my money on designer bags and saving accounts and that I will never trust a brit Asian with my money ever again. I also know which banks are lovely and which aren’t (I will reveal that one day).

For now I work to live, but luckily I have amazing parents and friends who have supported me through my turbulent stupid moments in the last few years. Without them I don’t think I would be here writing this blog.

Now, I have to move on and not dwell on the past, but think forward to the future and a little child that is joining our family very soon and also the other fabulous things that will hopefully happen in my life from now onwards.